France Passes Emergency Mandatory Turban LawChirac to wear solidarity Burka
Paris—In a defensive posture taken after the still-developing 7/7/05 transportation attacks in London, French president Jacques Chirac signed an executive order, ordering all French citizens to “adorn themselves, and their children in attire commensurate with Islamic sympathies.”
“The time has come to stand up," said Chirac to a televised audience. “Besides, it’s easier to step into Muslim clerical robes when you’re not sitting down.”
Chirac noted that the French people “would not be intimidated” by fashion photographers from "People magazine, and their lot. "
“If there ever was a time to look Pat O’Brien and The Insider in the face with steely resolve, it’s now,” he said. “This surrender was elicited by the terrorists on their time table. It will be consummated in a fashion and at a time of our choosing. It will not be circumvented by antagonsitic fashion reporting.”