Friday, November 26, 2004

Give us Moore, please

At first cynical glance, one might have a proclivity to make fun of people who required psychological support for their depression over a John Kerry loss. And even easier, to believe these are truly weak-minded people.

In reality, these are the people who should be running the Democratic party, since they've already broached step #4 of the common DABDA cycle:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Barganing
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

One could say that having #2 (anger) stuck in one's political gullet is a pretty strong reason the American people are rejecting out of hand democratic control over purse strings, judicial nominees, guns and butter. To cast one's demons of anger into nearby left-leaning swine simply means that they will eventually drown themsleves with all speed--which is what has happened ever since the Republicans gained control of the House and Senate in 1994. Either that, or Ted Kennedy is behind the wheel of the DNC as well.

But the deniers and angry ones are ruling the roost at this time.

The Denial Lot

While true, a contingent of "morality voters" came out in droves to register their opposition to any redefining of marriage, to go out and say that John Kerry lost the election in the skirts of some homophobic insurrection is just plain silly. If there is any phobia amongst the electorate, it is perhaps Judiciphobia--a looming sense that federal judges will decide for us what we will and will not find reasonable. One of the bricks in John Kerry's self-masoned defeat can be laid squarely at the supreme court from his own state. But it's only one brick in an entire wall.

So instead of admitting that the American people rejected your ideals and platform, you send out some surrogates to promulgate a "red states hate fags" rationale for your loss. Wow. At its very intonation, one should almost expect to hear a percussive rim-shot from a bad comedy act. Give James Carville a rubber chicken and you've got genuine cabaret.

Even John Kerry accidentally swerved his swift boat near the truth the other day when he blamed the Osama Bin Laden video for his loss. The only thing he missed was the reason the video cost him votes. Kerry contends that the video "scared the American electorate."

But did it really scare us--or just plain tick us off? Seems clear enough that had the American people been intimidated by Bin Laden, that they would have put more stock in his endorsement of Kerry.

Keep on believin', John. There's still time to be in Cambodia by Christmas. That denial is seared--seared in you.

Angry Machines

Unfortunately, the angry ones have more energy and inertia than their head-in-the-sand counterparts. Putting Michael Moore in a seat of honor next to Jimmy Carter at the Democratic Convention conferred undeserved legitimacy upon Moore, while at the same time, undermining Carter's already-weak image. Put the collective theology of a Moore/Carter/Kerry triumverate in platform language, and you get the following, foreign policy stunner:

  • Kerry will do a smarter, more efficient job of tracking down non-existent WMD's
  • Kerry will make sure vicious, marauding rabbits never again traverse a presidential river route.
  • Kerry will "hunt down and vigorously debate" Osama Bin laden.

How in the world an electorate rejected that kind of knife-in-the-teeth bravado is a mystery. It also may go to explain why this video of George Bush muscling his own secret service agent from a Chilean melee has been overlooked by the press. Way too much Testotserone. Not enough nuance . . .

Michael Moore is mistaken for "super-sizing populist" than "angry white man" by his own party hacks. Larry Flynt is potrayed as Ironside with a First Amendment purple heart instead of the corrupt, vociferating, crippled porn purveyor that he is. And Alec Baldwin is passed off as an actor instead of . . .Alec Baldwin(not yet the protracted expatriot). And honorable mentions of:

Donna Brazile

The Dixie Chicks

Cher (If I could turn back time)

Linda Rondstadt (Poor, Poor Pitiful Me)

Sean(puffy) Combs' "Vote or Die" Campaign (The answer appears to be: Die)

Rosie O'Donnel (who masterfully delivered all 38 votes from her Kerry rally attendees)

And on and on. The good news for the Republicans: All of these people are narcissists. No sign of silence on their part, any time soon. They'll be standing on the corner of Angry and Disposessed,

And there's nothing more fun to watch than a hand grenade that pulls its own pin.

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