Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Pardon Moi, Si Vou Plais Sissies

Believe it or not Michael Moore (Cholesterol 911, Pining for Columbine) promotes a website that tests the very heights of sissydom itself.

Yes, remorseful Americans can now post groveling pictures of themselves begging forgiveness for the 2004 reelection of George W. Bush--and begging forgiveness from--of all people--Europeans. Predictably, the French are weighing in with their insightful, fight-or-die credos that have carried them flawlessly through surrenders so seamless, one might wonder that they ever saw conflict in the first place.

When one sees the misguided tadpole holding up "we forgive you" signs into their webcams, one can't help but wonder whether or not it is possible to hold a sign, click a mouse, and wave a white flag at the same time.
The following bit of poetry was written on the heels of an AP story that actually bothered to poll the French themselves. It would seem that "utilitarian change of undergarments" was neither a concern, nor a necessity in the world of hygenic triage:

Ode to Monsieur Stinky
(A satirical romp filtered through a kaleidescope of xenophobic fun)
And what do I see, this September morn,
That I, vindicated do find
That all of my griping, has made some headway
(although it has taken some time)

The French they do reek, from foundation to peak
(Associated Press is concurs)
We find that on Monday, the wear last Friday's undies
and from clean ones they quickly demur

Take words like Coquette, and that bird, Alouette
Take all your fine wines and cuisine
De Toqueville's great books, and your effeminate cooks
(All have the Bouquet of Latrine)

So french stay away (I am willing to pay)
Keep your bedsores and head lice apath
Because our President(who proceeds not with wrist bent)
Can give you a mushroom-shaped bath.
© 1998, The Therapist (Nom De Plume. Funny, aint it?)

Oh, and if anyone finds this offensive . . .
I'm sorry. Honest.

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