Monday, November 22, 2004

Uh Oh. I think we might be fanning arab resentment

It would seem that United states marines have shot yet another benevolent pedestrian at point blank range. Last week, Al Jezeera television emoted their unmitigated glee at the NBC footage of a United States Marine killing a wounded Iraqi insurgent at point blank range. The arab world was "outraged, shocked, and bewildered."

This might come as a shock, but angry arabs took to the streets and burned stuff.

I love it when the press tries to portray an actual line of demarkation when the muslim world isn't taking to the streets and calling for the death of infidels. Sure, sure, it sounds as if before Hadji the Innocent took a bullet for opening fire on the Marines while playing dead (all fair), that the Arab Lumpen were driving around the Sunni Triangle setting up M*A*S*H units, or passing out Vermont Teddy Bears in the Golan Heights.

Here's the formula:

  • The United States shoots an (erstwhile throat-slitter) Iraqi insurgent.
  • The footage is caught by an American network
  • The American Network runs the footage in the name of "journalistic integrity and "getting all the facts to the people so that they can arrive at their own conclusions"
  • Michael Moore gets all excited and squishy over the chance to say "Bad United States."
  • Al Jezeera televsion runs the footage ad nauseum, day and night.

Arabs then take to the alleyways, promising to "drink the blood from the necks of their severed heads." Then they burn stuff. Their sudden "spike in anti-American outrage" is reported as if Rodney King "suddenly became a vehicular liability."

Now for the reverse formula:

  • Iraqi insurgents videotape themselves slicing the windpipes of civilian, overseas wokers, and send the footage to Al Jezeera.
  • Said television station airs the footage once or twice.
  • American networks refuse to show the footage in the name of "journalistic integrity, in the fear that the footage will inflame unesessary and dangerous resentment toward the muslim world."
  • Americans see it on the internet anyway, and apparrently still don't have the proclivity to take to the streets and threaten to throw their cafe moca's at an effigy of Allah. But then again, we destroyed Fallujah with big, poppy sounds.

I think the mulsim world needs to work on expanding their Jihad Thesaurus. Thus far we have:

  1. Mother of all__________(whatever they want here. Choose you superlative: war, insurgencies, baths, etc.)
  2. "There will be blood in the streets."
  3. "We will cut off the heads of the infidels."
  4. "We will swill the blood from the necks of the infidels."
  5. "We will rise up in our anger."
  6. "Holy War."
  7. "Great Satan"(an aparrently interchangeable epithet)

And that about covers it. The problem with such colorful language, is that it is employed no matter what these people find offensive. The headlines read:

AMERICANS FIRE AT MOSQUE Arabs take to the streets and demand the blood of infidels

or,

PASSERBY REMARKS ABOUT AYATHOLLA'S BEARD Thousands flood the West Bank and call for "Holy War."

or even,

PALESTINIAN WOMAN REMOVES BURKA FOR DENTAL PROCEDURE Millions swarm into Mecca to post blood-bounty on Great Satan.

So I think the next propoganda drop in Iraq should include our own headlines (just for pure inflammatory fun):

ISLAM HAS LIMITED VOCABULARY WHEN IT COMES TO SCARING WESTERNERS THROUGH ITS FOLLOWERS Followers need Verbal Advantage©, Bath.

I know I know. I'm going to cause someone, somewhere to take to the streets. . .


posted by Doofus @ 5:39 AM




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