Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Gorillas are the dissed

It seems that CBS news is about as potent and effective in the informational trade winds as a toothless schnauzer in a room full of greased ankles. Ditto for the pony-tailed academic lot of euro-weenies. And after all the intelligentsia has done to convince us that:

  • Monkeys and matter can emerge and develop out of nothing
  • A Creator, managing monkeys and matter out of nothing is preposterous

that they still lose this secular insurrection in a recent CBS poll. One can only imagine what the actual data happens to be, being that CBS is notorious for keeping their thumb pressed against the factual roulette wheel whenever they can. They appear to be awfully worried that our nation's public school children will be shepherded away from the "you are a complete accident" doctrine.

But it makes sense. Dan Rather's journalistic integrity is the result of a professional "big bang" theory--no one can explain how that head of his got on the tube in the first place, and no one can explain just when it will stop expanding.

A lack of a creator is a convenient escape, even outside the usual, theological context. For instance:

Once upon a time, some primordial wood pulp simultaneously combined with milling techniques and notion of "problematic balance in the utilization of one's military past." An infinitesimal event occurred when these components and circumstances combined with a catalyst--a Kinkos in Travis County, Texas. Emerging from apparent abstractness and confusion, a strange and seemingly miraculous order began to emerge in the for of a .pdf file, that bore all the conspicuous hallmarks of the fonts and subscripts from documents thought to be long extinct. The odds of this "perfect storm" emerging as an explosion bigger than a cherry bomb are 125,000(10-45th power), but met with seemingly fateful inertia when propelled into exponential magnitude by the hot and furious gasses of an independent anchorman.

Yup. Those National Guard documents had no creator either.

Just ask America's most trusted news man.

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