Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Thank God we didn't elect a blue-state deer hunter

I was wondering. If John Edwards were to get whiplash from an accident while chasing an ambulance, who would he sue?

For the time being, I have a potentially lucrative exercise in litigaton for him.
But he needs to jump on this quick before the internet chat rooms telegraph the essential strength of the case: that the culture of hunting is what allowed a man to recklessly take a high-powered semiautomatic hunting rifle and dispatch 8 other people(or as it were 6 with a remainder of 2). By continuing to cloud the line of importance between man and animal, we can equate Mr. Vang's "trespasser massacre" to a violation of tag limits. He should be dealing with fish and game wardens as a poacher, while John Edwards, who apparently can speak with dead babies to win a court case, channels exculpatory testimony from 6 dead hunters. Get out that gilded Ouija board, John. This one's got your name on it.

Really, though. The screwball contingent is already carping about how the "unrestricted proliferation of firearms" is responsible for the untimely deaths of these people. Other accounts indicate, however, that amongst this party of 14 or 15 people, that there existed one rifle amongst them. So the problem was not manifest in the fact that one wingnut had a rifle but that eight others didn't.

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