Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I Was Referring To Street Smarts

Statement By John Kerry

The right-wing nut-jobs that took my comments out of context are doing everything in their power to prevent us the technological ability to raise Steve Irwin from the dead. The powerful forces opposed to embyonic stem-cell research have their goons all over me. I'm not backing down.

When I said you'll get "stuck in Iraq" without being smart, I really meant that if you don't have the requisite street smarts for combat, that you'll take a shank in the solar plexus with little or no warning. The mean streets of Boston taught me that, as I was for a short time, the principal O.G. in my little-mentioned Norteno gang affiliation. I was jumped in by being beaten with quiche pies. So don't lecture me about semantics, cause I'm gonna flash all over the Bush Administration. Time to turn them out.

I refuse to let some intermittently-corpulent radio blabber recontextualize remarks that were obviously aimed at the Speaker of the House's cover-up of FoleyGate. Any idiot can see that, but then again, Limbaugh dropped out of college. I expect my comments to be interpreted as military-hating elitism from the mind of some Ruth's Criss sychophant. And sure, I expect the enlisted personnel to gobble this red-herring up like some kind of Carloina-rigged, treble-hooked rowe-bait in a trailer-park spring creek. At least it'll make them take a break from duct-taping ground-wires to our islamic brethren's reproductive goods.

If anybody should apologize, it ought to be Bush for giving AIDS to Freddy Mercury.

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