Humuhumunukunukuapuaa Threatens Hawaiian Authorites With Vowel Patent
Honolulu--As Hawaiian state legislators grapple with rendering the state's representative fish, lawmakers have been forced to confront an unexpected battle from the Hawaii's recently de-throned ocean-dweller, the world-renowned Humuhumunukunukuapuaa.
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa (pronounced HOO-moo-HOO-moo-NOO-koo-NOO-koo-AH-poo-AH-ah), is reported to have filed a tentative legal brief, that threatens to gain legal rights to vowels "a" and "u," unless a "sufficiently amenable and hasty reinstatement" is brought to bear within the week.
A spokesperson for Humuhumunukunukuapuaa says the contingency is warranted.
"They've flown in the face of tradition yet again," said the representative. "If we have to acquire monolithic control over "e, " "i" and "o," we are not above it. To rob the Humuhumunukunukuapuaa of untold revenues would not only harm the fish, but put a little tiny fishing spear right through the gills of tourism. You can't leave everything up to Don Ho, and a few Brady Bunch re-runs. people can only stomach Greg's wipe-out episode 300 times before they snap."