Friday, September 16, 2005

Mayor Nagin May Want To Just Run For Dallas Mayor

After the President of the United States finished his speech to the nation this evening, Ted Koppel passed the rendering baton to ABC News correspondent, Dean Reynolds. Reynolds, standing before a seated assemblage of Black New Orleans residents, may have overplayed his hand. I can’t remember it verbatim, but it sort of went like this, right after Ted handed the broadcast duties off to Reynolds:

DEAN REYNOLDS: Good evening, Ted. I’m sitting here with some of the displaced . . . those tired, beleaguered blacks that are still sitting here at the Houston Astrodome, even after a full three weeks has transpired between the arrival of Hurricane Katrina and now. I’m out here to get some feedback from the grassroots; level—reaction to Mr. Bush’s speech. Maam, you’re black and stuff. If I may ask; just how much of the President’s speech did you find to have the currency above that of a cheap 40 oz??

WOMAN: I’ll tell you, I heard hopeful words. Mr. Bush made me feel like he means what he says.

DEAN REYNOLDS: (Unintelligible byplay between producer and reporter over Reynolds’ headphones) What I mean is, aside from the obvious positive projections made by the President. Where do you think he may have been lying to your face?

WOMAN: I don’t. I think he was sincere and to the point. I know I feel like returning to our home is imminent.

DEAN REYNOLDS: (panicked, static-laden reception over earphone. Reynolds retorts) of course she’s black! Look at the monitor . . . anyway, thank you.(turns to another man nearby) Sir, you look tired and at your wits end. Did Mr. Bush sell you on the fact that he intends to rectify the reverberating failures stemming from his egregious leadership?

MAN: (with Cajun accent) I don’t know what you mean. I just wanted to hear the speech. It was an excellent speech. Mr. Bush was really good!

DEAN REYNOLDS: (silently acknowledging a cue from the control room) Let’s try going back to the first few days. Is there anything specifically that any of you can point to that will allow me to completely avoid discussing Ray Nagin’s remote, fetal-position-in-the-clutch management techniques?


DEAN REYNOLDS: Fantastic! Where did Bush fail?”

WOMAN: He failed to educate that retarded mayor of ours. He could have at least paid for a book by Rudy Gulianai, or at least—Lee Iacocca. But that’s it. Our mayor needs to take a class on staying in town when the town is underwater. (screaming from Reynolds’monitor earphone)

DEAN REYNOLDS: Look, is anyone here even a real live black? Good grief, Ted, you send me into what is supposed to be the remnant tinder box of human misery, and I wind up interviewing Condi Rice’s foster family. Is there anyone here that thinks maybe Bush needs to accept the blame for this hurricane?


DEAN REYNOLDS: About time! In what capacity should Bush accept this blame?

WOMAN: I think he should accept the blame on behalf of Mayor Nagin, “since he couldn’t be here in New Orleans this evening, as he is closing escrow in Dallas”

DEAN REYNOLDS: Reporting live from Houston, I’m Dean Reynolds, back to you, Ted:

The video of the real exchange is in. I'm not that far off.

Seems John drew his revolver the same time I did.

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