Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Israel To Relinquish Three-City Stranglehold On Middle East

West Bank--The Office of Israeli Defense said in a statement today, that they would begin transfers of two West Bank cities this week, and possibly a third.

Defense Minister Minister Shaul Mofaz, said, "Our brutal, hegemonic stranglehold over the region is over. These measures will effectively balance the power between Muslims and Jews, making everything as fair as possible."

Critics of Israel, who occupy .02% of the Middle East, say the Jews have incrementally attempted to usurp the other 99.8% Muslim representation in the Middle East, by maintaining settlements in the towns of Jericho, Tulkarm and Qalqilya.

Unbelievable Monopoly On Power:
Israel (red, center), will be relinquishing a portion
of their considerable power over the Middle East.
Muslim countries (green) feel threatened by the ever-
growing spectre of Jewish expansion.

Palestinian leaders agree.

"The Muslim world constitutes 5,000,000 square miles right now. For Israel to even think their 10,000 square mile existence is fair is preposterous." said Ahmhal Innit, a Palestinian spokesperson. "We consider any move, militaristic or otherwise, to increase their borders by a 10,001st mile an active declaration of war."

Analysts have no idea how Israel came to acquire a staggering .02% of land in the region.

"It boggles the mind, " said one observer. "To sieze that kind of real estate in the face of a silent majority like that? Amazing."

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