Thursday, March 01, 2007

Democrats Discover Gnostic Constitution Under Independence Hall

New Bill of Rights possibly articulated by antediluvian serpent, say dems

Philadelphia--Even as the very Gospel of Christ is debated in theological circles in the wake of The DaVinci Code, Congressional democrats are now claiming they have discovered a Gnostic Constitution, buried in unmapped catacombs under Independence Hall.

"A certifiably stunning find, indeed," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "This type of apparent archeological cover-up demands investigation, as well as immediate implementation."

The document, one of equal size and proportion to the nation's premier founding document, was discovered when one key democrat noticed that the original Constitution had "letters and fonts with conspicuously-augmented stature amongst the document proper," leading many to believe the Founding fathers may have imposed liberty under duress, and encrypted their real intentions within the framework of the primary source.

Some sources say Director James Cameron may also be in possession of primary sources, indicating that the document may have more than just ephemeral value--even going so far as to say the multiple-Oscar-winning director has consulted the un-canonized “Gospel of Lucifer" to solidify the existence of a consortium between American revolutionaries and a Bill of Rights committee dedicated to reducing human liberties.

Developing . . .

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