Saturday, August 20, 2005

Mr.Therapist Chats With His Third-Grade Picture, Mr. Doofus

Mr. Doofus: Why for does Hollywood always use Nazis as the bad guys in the movie films?

Mr. Therapist: Because they're chickens, Mr. Doofus. Anyone can vicariously become a part of the Normandy invasion if they read it from a script. Plus, there are no able-bodied Nazis around to threaten Hollywood celebrities, so they can assume the "brave" mode by defeating them over and over again on screen.

If they want to really appear brave, then they should make a movie about Salmon Rushdie. But they won't because they can't simultaneously provide aid and comfort to Islam while trying to Deconstruct the vageries of the Koran. Nope. If Alec Baldwin had been a 1940's contemporary, he'd be advertising for Mengele's Pharmaceuticals, and Barbara Streisand would be issuing Truth Alerts to complain about profiling against tutonic blondes with rigor mortised knee joints.

Mr. Doofus: So does that mean that the artist man who did bad things to a Jesus statue will not put Allah in his pee?

Mr. Therapist: Exactly. Art exploring the blasphemous expression of Islam will:
  • Never happen anyway.
  • Never see an ACLU defense--if it does happen-- until sometime after we're invaded by China.
Mr. Doofus: Thank you very much. I'm far more cleared up.

Mr. Therapist: You're welcome, Mr. Doofus.

Related: John's a bit flummoxed that somebody's outed his veiled, hippie past with a photographic flank hit.

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