African Press To Release Michelle Obama Tapes “Within Seconds” Of Nov. 4th VoteWarns of “American Bloodshed,” if tapes not heard, lowers handbag prices
Norway—The editor of the African Press International, Chief Editor Korir, stated today that they are prepared to release the still-unproven Michelle Obama tapes to the media, “Literally within seconds” of the first balloting in the November 4th election in the United States.
“The American people need and deserve to be fully informed of the Specter of an Obama presidency,” warns Korir. “And I can do no less than to let them almost hear these tapes as they are driving into the polling station to cast their vote for Obama.”
The tapes, now drawing even the skepticism of even the most hopeful Republican outliers, purports to not only expose the black presidential contender as a native Kenyan, but also contains a brisk conversation, with the candidate’s wife dressing down the news agency for “betraying their race” by exposing the matter. The call was allegedly taped, and runs around fifty minutes long.
Mr. Korir is alleged to be black.
“The least I can do, “ say Korir, “is make sure these damning allegations are supported with the full force and credibility of the tapes, which I will humbly release nearly in time for them to make a difference.”
Editor Korir, also noted that his legal teams were “very immersed” in negotiations with a “major cable news network” over the tapes, and that his lawyers’ lawyers’ attorney’s special council’s representation was “in the last minute stages” of “releasing the tapes later.”
“There will be a race war and a bloodbath,” he said. “If the subtle issues inherent in these tapes are not taken into consideration by a voting populace that nearly heard them.”
Mr. Korir also noted that their handbag assortment was on line, and that prices have been lowered to accommodate those hunched over their laptops, eagerly waiting for him to continue ignoring direct questions.