Targets Of Racial Tirade Agree To Meet With Michael Richards' Wallet
Hoping summit with cash-carrying leather bi-fold can heal fresh wounds
Rhetorically-wounded victims, Doss and McBride,
are optimistic their plan to meet with a mediating
wallet (inset) will heal the still-existant chasm between
them and comedian, Michael Richards.
Los Angeles--Hoping to stem the recent tide of public racial vehemence, the two targets of Seinfeld comedian, Michael Richards' hate-filled tirade are speaking out. And they have a solution.
" We are probably going to be criticized for being too simplistic," said Kyle Doss, 38, who was one of the targets of Richards', expletive-ridden and racist taunts. "But we think we may have found a way to establish a dialogue between ourselves and Michael Richards."
Both Doss and McBride have a plan: to hold a two-party economic summit with the comedian, and have a neutral third party stand in as intermediary. Doss and McBride, along with their attorney, Gloria Allred, have suggested that the greatest source of that neutrality would be an inanimate object--particularly the small black-leather cash repository that was present in Richards' hip pocket the night of the incident.
"We thing the wallet knows exactly how to proceed, " said Allred. "Wallets have long become the apex around which most successful litigation is realized. Aren't my clients at least owed a hearing with the wallet after what they've been through?"
Some critics question the wallet's integrity, as it was present during the incident, in which Richards vilified his two black hecklers with various racial epithets--including the "N-word." Still, McBride and Doss are confident that the wallet can proceed accordingly, and that any ambient racial intolerance will translate into the wallet's ability to open itself up and perhaps rid itself of its monolithically-colored paper.
"This is about getting back to the day, when the N-word was only employed twelve times a stanza by Ludacris," said Doss. "I know we can get there, if the wallet works with us."
posted by Doofus @ 9:23 AM
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