Monday, November 27, 2006

Pelosi Retracts Exorcist Kid's Name From Commitee Chairmanship Nomination

Fulminating, projectile vomiter seen as too divisive, say some

McNeil: Many think her bare-handed, technical
decapitation of a parish priest could ultimately work
against her nomination.

Washington--Still reeling from a humiliating, pre-ascension defeat, House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi was forced to remove the name of her primary candidate for the House Special Comittee on Aging.

Speaking before a small press gathering, 12 year old Georgetown native Regan McNeil, noted their was "no bad blood between her and the vapid, menstrual demon, Nancy Pelosi."

"I am no one! I am no one!" Shouted McNeil, in an apparent attempt to downplay her ultimate percieved usefulness to the special comitee. "Your Mother is in here with me, Pelosi!"

Pelosi downplayed the retraction as a mechanism of the system at work, and that her secondary candidate, Emily Rose, was "ready to step up at a moment's notice."

Rose, a Bavarian college student, is addled with mephistopholean manifestations that some say have a more cogent understanding of foreign policy.

"It's the nero/Hitler highlights that make her far more viable," said one expert. "We're hoping that Stalin's muse makes its appearance soon."

Rose: demons who formerly possessed Hitler and Nero prime
the pumps for comittee relations substantially more than those
who would otherwise revert to cursing out parish preists with
backward masked outbursts.

Political observers note that this second defeat for the speaker is really a reflection of a still myopic American electorate, who are still not ready to grant societal equality to a self-mutilating, underage demoniac.

"What we really see here is the seven-hundred mile fence of religious bigotry," said one expert. "Until the church-going populace is willing to look past the pigmentless eyes, the brazenly distorted features, and the unexplainable, mid-torso cries for help from the host, we will remain in our underdeveloped holding patterns."

Others noted that, despite the knawing Judeo-christian taunts, calulated blasphemies, and blatant sexual perversions of apostolic iconography, that McNeil's reluctance to villify Islamic passions was also sign of political maturity.

"Those people get real ugly when you confront them," said one source. "Next thing you know, they're cursing at you and threatening to kill you. Mcneil understands the bromidic notions of heaping coals of fire upon the heads of your enemies. It's just a shame that flagrant, right-wing hatred for the infernal god Pezuzu has to enter the fray."

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