Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Stand Back. Losing Houses Is My Specialty

By Senator Trent Lott,
Guest Columnist

Take a deep breath and trust me on this. Just as soon as we lose the Republican majority in the house, I have an immediate plan to get it back.

That was my whole point in telling Chris Mathews that Karl Rove should perhaps go. Yeah, he's not even mentioned in the Libby indictment, but to be quite frank, I'm not comfortable governing from the majority.

That was why I initially engaged in the power-sharing deal with the Democrats after they won back a few seats. Sure, we were in the majority, but when you're in the majority, you also have to assimilate a high degree of the blame when things go wrong.

Thus, my cunning plan.

We need to do whatever it takes to get the dems back into power. After that, they'll get the blame for letting the Red Chinese take over the country. This will upset the populace, and they'll find themselves voted right out of office.

I've thought a lot about this. It'll only take a few American babies tossed to the ends of the Maoist's bayonet until the American people will no longer have the stomach for the party of appeasement.

I told Sean Hannity the other day that I had considered not running for another term in the wake of Hurricane Katrina's annihilation of my house, but my devotion to public service is stronger even than my devotion to my house. I not only want to lose my house, but I want to share that experience with my constituents. My faith is strong here. Together we can again be the powerful minority from back in the day.

Can I get a witness?

Who Links Here