Monday, October 31, 2005

Bush Sucks Brains From Democrats' Partially-Delivered Scandal Baby

Bush pulls Alito nomination from Sandy Berger's pants

Washington--As proud Democrats shopped for I. Lewis Libby's prison clothes, President Bush performed what is commonly termed a "late-term abortion" on the perceived momentum in the Democratic camp, with his nomination of Judge Samuel Alito to the United States Supreme Court.

Mr. Bush performed the procedure this morning, by pulling the text of his speech from the trousers of a nearby Sandy Berger.

"We certainly believe in a Republican President’s right to choose," said senator Harry Reid. "But only in the event that the Constitution's life is in danger. This is just gratuitous and unnecessary. This could have been prevented with Mr., Bush keeping his legal briefs closed."

Mr. Bush contends that choosing a conservative jurist to sit on the high court is an "everyday, sanitary procedure," and that senators on the left side of the aisle "best keep their hands off" an electorate's right to their own governmental bodies.

"Mr. Bush has robbed the Libby indictment child of all momentum," said one source. "But the child was conceived during a forced interlude. There was no constitutional love there at all. This is what's best for society overall."

Who Links Here