Thursday, November 17, 2005

China To Declare Martial Law In Event Of Flu Outbreak

Freedoms to be 'severely restricted," say communists

Bejing--Citing "necessity over conveninece" the People's Republic of China announced today that they are prepared to enact "intrusive measures" in the evnt that the viral strain H5N1, also known as the Avian flu, should mutate and become contagious on a human to human level.

"We are not prepared to take this situation lightly," said one representative of Bejing. "We understand that the potential transfer of this virus will come from human contact in places like . . . churches."

Bejing said that they are "prepared" to restrict freedoms "in an almost totalitarian way" to prevent the H5N1 virus from achieving spread potential.

"The primary technique for this is to run people over with tanks," said one official. "This usually quells outbreaks of any kind. We are not preprared to deviate from our previous successes."

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