Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Defense Cites "Millions Of People Not Molested By Jackson" As Basis For Acquittal

Hoping to use largesse to open pediatrics ward, say lawyers

Lawyers for Michael Jackson are hoping that jurors will quickly realize that these alleged molestees are neither related to them, nor large in number, thus reducing the chances of "juror personalization." The number of those not molested by Jackson is said to be the new focus of the defense

Los Angeles--Defense lawyers for embattled pop star, Michael Jackson are hoping that a sense of contrast will ultimately save their client.

"Let us put aside for a moment, those we perceived to have been molested by our client," said lead attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. "What the prosecution hopes to do—in fact deliberately does—is keep these relatively few incidents isolated from the millions of children who get up every morning, unmolested by Michael Jackson."

Prosecuting attorneys were reportedly stunned by this unexpected legal flank. DA Tom Sneddon admits even he, despite his years in the fight, didn't see such a blitz coming.

"I guess this is why Geragos is out," he said "We are now dealing with a modern-day Sun Tzu, from The Art Of War."

Analysts believe the little-used "comparison and contrast" technique could have "completely evaporating" effects on the prosecutions case.

"Once this rhetorical bombshell reaches true fruition," said one analyst. "Every single juror will at least arrive at the conclusion that neither they, nor their children were even once molested by Michael Jackson. That goes a long way toward acquittal."

Jackson's lawyers are also said to be readying an approach called the "philanthropic largesse" play, in which the defendant is seen to break down in tears and imply that his trial is an evil interruption to fulfilling his lifelong dream: Building and maintaining a pediatric ward.

Mesereau says this approach goes way beyond artifice. "This is really what the man is about," he said. "We need to get past these little molestation quibbles, so that the King of Pop can get back to doing what he does best. And that's loving children."

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