Friday, March 18, 2005

Michael Schiavo To Celebrate By Watching "Million Dollar Baby"

Will eat popcorn through straw with girlfriend

Days of Ignorance: Michael Schiavo
expresses completely-wasted emotion
on his wife, Terri who appears to have
no reaction whatsoever

Florida--Michael Schiavo, husband of embattled patient, Terri Schiavo, is celebrating a hard-fought victory over the ever-growing pro-life ideology, with plans to take in a screening of Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby.

Doctors removed Mrs. Schiavo's feeding tube this afternoon on a court order, and expect her to die of "natural causes," after peacefully writhing around in her bed from nutritional deprivation.

“This is a triumph for death,” said an attorney associated with Mr. Schiavo. “And there’s no better way to celebrate than to have a light dinner and a movie about euthanasia.”

Schiavo admits that he and his girlfriend will imbibe liquidated popcorn through a straw as a “delicate balance between empathy and new beginnings,” but asks the public not to read into it too much.

Schiavo says that Terri also “articulated” her desire for her husband to “live in sin” with another woman, and “deal a demoralizing defeat to those pro-life nutcases.”

Greer: Pinellas Circuit judge, in this
photo, refusing to show the stigmatas on his hands.
he later cried "it is finished" and ascended into
the clouds

Other lesser-reported side effects of this grueling case include the personal, emoyional, and physical toll it has taken on peripheral characters in the situation, such as Pinellas Circuit Court judge, George Greer, who was reported to have yelled “Eli Eli Lamsabachthani,” before ascending into heaven.

“His work is finished,“ said Schiavo. “We’re going to Disneyland.”

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